Beyond toys: How play shapes emotional intelligence and social skills in children

Through play, children develop emotional wellbeing and their self-confidence can blossom. (Photo: Unsplash)
A recent study reveals that engaging in non-directed activities is critical to children’s development – and their parents benefit greatly too.
Play can happen in glitzy, state-of-the-art classrooms or under the shade of a marula tree. It can be stimulated by expensive Lego or a few stones. I have watched children playing on piles of building sand or in puddles of muddy water.

Children in preprimary school can spend the day in the sandpit if you let them. They need hands-on opportunities to engage in practical investigations where the product is not important; rather, the practical elements of the journey are freely enjoyed and explored for their intrinsic interest.

The power of messing around
Expert Kathryn Peckham observes in her book Developing School Readiness that although practical paint mixing or ingredient weighing may never result in the colours imagined or the correct recipe followed, the experience comes in the freedom to adapt plans and trial practical techniques as the play takes different tangents.

This is beautifully observed in two-year-olds with their thick brushes dabbed in paint and sploshed on the paper. Watching children role-play dressed in period costumes at school is also fun. This play continually adapts and changes as new ideas are added and children join or leave the activity.

Through these experiences, children shift their thinking and actions to accommodate the thoughts and opinions of others. They learn to manage the limitations of the context as well as the new opportunities that present themselves.

There is no rigid path to follow, and children experience adaptability as both useful and successful. With no requirement to achieve any outcomes, children can try something for as long as they are motivated to do so, returning to it once new perspectives have been considered. In reflecting, they renew motivation and encourage ideas, promoting a reflective approach to learning.

Peckham argues that play has little to do with background, class, race or social status. In doing it, children develop emotional wellbeing and their self-confidence can blossom. Changing situations allow them to develop their imagination, adapt their actions and solve problems in situations that are not prescribed.

Without set agendas, children can approach situations from their own viewpoint. Trying out ideas repeatedly, they respond to the successes and failures they experience to develop an intuitive approach to new situations.

Through play, children are given permission to be inquisitive and to gain new experiences and sensations first-hand. With deep levels of involvement, children investigate whatever draws their interest at the time as their curiosity is piqued.

Mattel’s study
In April, global toy maker Mattel published a report that claimed that 37% of children and families weren’t playing enough in their daily lives because they felt too busy (51%), too lonely (38%) or too unsafe (34%) to dedicate time to play or hobbies. 

Many of the 33,000 children and adults Mattel surveyed in the US, Brazil, Germany, Finland, China, Japan and South Africa agreed that play could be a powerful force for improving health and wellbeing (81%), mitigating isolation (87%) and bridging social differences (79%). 

Mattel’s report, The Shape of Play, showed that aspects of play resonated differently from country to country, with Americans experiencing the most awe and achievement. Chinese people played for wellbeing and relaxation and Germans focused on fantasy and imagination. 

According to the report, 94% of respondents agreed that play was for people of all ages, from childhood adventures to adult passions. Whether through toys, games, pets (as 84% of respondents said) or online games (62%), play lifts our spirits and bridges social differences across generations, cultures and communities. Play fosters joy and builds resilience. But respondents noted that their time for play decreased as they grew up.

Joy and triumph
During the preschool years, 86% of parents said their children played multiple times a day, but this figure decreased by nearly 20% through each age group, from middle- graders (65%) to tweens or teens (41%), and young adults (22%). Nearly 70% of all respondents said their most creative ideas came through play. It’s how we imagine, invent and solve, whether at home or in the workplace. From joy and triumph in Finland to connection in Brazil and experimentation in South Africa, play reflected culture and revealed what connects us all.

Most respondents (81%) said physical toys enhanced the play experience. With empathy-boosting benefits and an adult collector segment, toys remained vital across every stage of life.

Mattel’s expertise supports the unique developmental benefits tied to physical play, and data indicates that playing with dolls increases brain activity linked to empathy and social processing skills.

The Shape of Play report identified six play personalities — colourful creators, skill seekers, solo navigators, curiosity cultivators, memory makers and social sparklers — celebrating the idea that there is no one right way to play.

The Mattel report also underscored play as a foundational element in child development, far beyond mere entertainment. Parents worldwide recognised play as essential for building cognitive, social, emotional and physical skills, with many linking it directly to learning and problem-solving.

This insight reinforces Mattel’s mission to design toys that serve as tools for growth, positioning brands such as UNO and Mega Bloks as facilitators of developmental milestones.

Another major theme was the growing significance of intergenerational play, where adults actively engage in play not just for the benefit of children, but for their own enjoyment and wellbeing. The report found that many adults in all the surveyed countries played with the children in their lives, with many also turning to play independently for stress relief and mental rejuvenation.

This shift has influenced Mattel’s approach to product design and marketing, emphasising shared experiences that strengthen family bonds and cater to multi-age enjoyment.

Finally, the report identified inclusivity and accessibility as central demands in today’s play landscape. Parents wanted toys that reflect diverse backgrounds and abilities, ensuring all children feel represented and included. High percentages of respondents expressed a desire for products that promote empathy and accessibility, pushing Mattel to innovate with offerings such as diverse Barbie dolls and sensory-friendly toys. This theme aligns with broader societal expectations, but also positions inclusivity as a driver of future product development and corporate responsibility.

Commercial interests
Studies like these are not benign. Mattel is one of the world’s biggest toymakers and playing with toys may make sense to it from a commercial standpoint.

This study has the potential to expand its market reach — it can use the data to strengthen its brand and improve sales in traditional and emerging markets. The emphasis in the report on physical toys can also boost demand for Mattel’s products.

But despite its obvious bias, the study works to highlight the benefits of play all over the world. It underscores play’s role in reducing loneliness and enhancing creativity, and its importance at all ages.

Children’s creative tendencies are enhanced, demonstrated and valued through play. Their inventiveness and resourceful use of props add new dimensions, whereas setbacks allow for creative solutions. With the ability to react creatively, no problem needs to derail the fun.

Play allows children to encounter new experiences in their environment. Through motivation and changing circumstances, children develop skills to draw on previous experiences and recognise similarities, all informed by previous actions and solutions.

The importance of play in learning cannot be overstated. Make sure that your own child has enough time to play. DM

Dr Mark Potterton is the principal of Sacred Heart College Primary School and director of the Three2Six Refugee Children’s Project in Johannesburg.

This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper, which is available countrywide for R35.

Source: https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/